Following my impulses

So, I'd barely finished my last post, clicked publish and clicked to the next blog. There I found a bible reference to Luke 3, 4-6. A quick trip to one of my bibles (yes, I own more than one) and this is what I found.

"Isaiah had spoken of John when he said, 'He is a voice shouting in the wilderness: Prepare a pathway for the Lord's coming! Make a straight road for him! Fill in the valleys, and level the mountains and hills! Straighten the curves, and smooth out the rough places! And then all people will see the salvation sent from God.'"

I'm not sure why I felt the need to blog this. I have faith the reason will come to me.

Across Three Aprils

Okay, the title's a bit corny. For those of you who read and remember young adult fiction, it's a play on the past. There's a great book called "Across Five Aprils" by Irene Hunt. Published in 1964, it's the story of a family and their experiences during the Civil War. What I didn't know until recently is that Irene Hunt used her own family history to write her books. Either way, the resonating theme to me as an adult is how each year has seasonal cycles, and each year is part of a bigger cycle. I think a part of my tween brain picked up on that all those years ago when I first read the book, but I couldn't have articulated it.

I spent some time today reading past postings. I wondered what had I written in April last year and in 2008. For some posts the title was telling enough. For other posts, I need a little more of a push. It's interesting to see how emotion comes through writing, even when I don't think I'm very emotional as I write. April 2008 was hopeful. I was looking for a new job and a new direction. Luckily I found the job, made the move , and started in a new direction. April 2009 started was bright, except for the unexpected and sudden loss of a wonderful cousin. April 2010 has been busy, and stressful. Where will the cycle be next year? What is to come in April 2011?

Temper...

As in I have one. I know this about myself, and that's probably why I try to go with the flow as much as possible. If the temper burn doesn't start, then things are okay. Well, that doesn't always happen. I won't go into the gory details, but I lost my temper this weekend, and while the person on the other end of the phone call might not agree, hanging up was the best I could do, if I didn't want to make things worse. So that's what I did. And when the person called back I chose not to answer. Again, not kind, but kinder than what I might say.

I gave it a couple days and then I tried to express my frustration via email. Turns out this person and I don't seem to communicate very well. My email was taken as an attack on this person's character, which is not what I intended. I tried really, really hard to emphasize my feelings and my opinions. Making "I statements" is supposed to be a diffusion tool in communication, taking the accusation out of the exchange. Turns out that really didn't work. So here I am half a week later thinking I should have just swallowed everything and lied that my battery had died or something.

So, now I'm kind of stuck. Deep down I think this person will forgive me. But do I need forgiveness? Part of me wants to apologize, but I'm not sure exactly what I'd be apologizing for. Am I sorry I hung up? Am I sorry for expressing myself? Or am I sorry that we just can't seem to understand each other? I'm just not sure what the next step should be.

Classes, classes and more classes.....

I know, I'm a teacher so classes are kind of the norm for me. I'm in class all day, everyday, but it's different when you're the student rather than the teacher. I like being a student. I love to learn, but these ESOL classes have been going on for four months now, and I'm tired. Today was our last Saturday class. Two more Monday evenings and final assignments to go. I'm wishing it was already over.

A New (Blog) Look

So, I decided the blog needed a new wallpaper. And replace the photo. This one is a shot of the North Santiam River taken along Highway 22 last October. Anyway, Western Oregon has been hit with a deluge of wind and rain over the last few days and it's been depressing. It's April, for Pete's sake! I really just want a little sun.

April so far has been pretty quiet. Ten days back from Spring Break and I'm already really, really tired. Partly, I think it's the weather, but I've already whined about that.

Easter was a very nice day with the family. Mom and Dad hosted a really yummy dinner of ham, potatoes, veggies, and strawberry shortcake. Traci and family came. Aunt and Uncle, and then Kelly surprised us all. We had the flurry of cards, candy, baskets and Cheetos. Yes, Cheetos.

Here's hoping that Spring shows up soon. Hope you all had a very Happy Easter!